I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
