Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
