Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
