My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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