you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
