i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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