Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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