i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
