I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
false alarm, still single
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
