Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
