No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
