I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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