i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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