Got a toothbrush?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
