You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
