He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
