I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
