new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
