Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
