i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
