do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
