I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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