woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
