it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
