was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
