guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
