I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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