I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
