I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
