I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
