Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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