I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
