If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
