i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
