Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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