Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
