Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
