my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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