I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
