Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
