All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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