she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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