I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
