I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
