And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
