Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
this beer tastes like vomit already
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
