do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
