I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
