i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
