may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
