I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
