Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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