she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
