a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
