38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
